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The Ugly Truth About Online Dating | Psychology Today
In a previous post I summarized statistics showing that online dating is not only prevalent, but also slightly more successful than offline why is it online dating in producing stable i.
What accounts for this success? There is no definitive research on this question, but we can certainly engage in some informed speculations. Below, I will present a list of possibilities, and look forward to your thoughts and feedback! Dating companies such as EHarmony and OkCupid argue that their proprietary compatibility algorithms enable users to sift through undesirable matches and identify the suitable ones.
EHarmony asks users to fill out extensive psychological questionnaires, many based on established personality scales.
OkCupid asks quirkier questions e. The idea that we can use reliable tests to identify appropriate partners is certainly seductive forgive the pun, why is it online dating. However, scientific research does not support it, at least when it comes to personality compatibility.
That is, there is no evidence that extroverts are best matched with why is it online datingor people who are open to experience prefer others who are also open to experience. One why is it online dating finding is that individuals high in neuroticism i. When it comes to values, attitudes, and beliefs, research supports the notion that long-term couples tend to be more similar with each other than random strangers.
However, this similarity was not shown to contribute to relationship satisfaction. As discussed in my previous post, traditional dating is based on physical proximity, with individuals choosing partners with whom they intersect frequently in everyday life, such as at work or school. This offline pool of partners is by definition restrictive. That is, individuals typically encounter relatively small numbers of potential partners from whom they can choose.
Further, the diversity of these partners is limited, with, say, teachers meeting other teachers, students from a small town meeting others just like them, etc. This issue is compounded for those looking for love later in life, when their social circles tend to be made predominantly of other couples.
It can be argued that individuals can make better, more informed choices in a situation where they have lots of diverse options. Rather than choosing whomever is available in physical proximity, they may be able to be more selective and why is it online dating potential partners who meet specific criteria.
These two phenomena are not mutually exclusive. It is possible that some daters do find better matches when they have larger pools of partners, whereas others fall prey to the allure of always looking for someone better. It is possible that online daters, as a group, are different from the general population in ways that increase their likelihood of establishing successful romantic relationships. Three dimensions of difference are worth noting. It is possible that, at this age, people possess greater self-insight i, why is it online dating.
The choices they made a decade earlier may seem less appealing once maturation has occurred. By virtue of being older, online daters may experience this problem to a lesser extent. Second, online daters are a self-selected group, who decided to invest time, energy, effort, and often money for paid sites into finding a romantic partner. Therefore, their motivation to build satisfying relationships may be higher, leading them to be more committed towards and work harder at their relationships.
By contrast, why is it online dating, some traditional daters may stumble into relationships that they may not have specifically sought or ardently desired to begin with, why is it online dating. Finally, research shows that online daters tend to be wealthier and more highly educated than traditional daters. Both income and education are factors that are associated with a decreased likelihood of divorce.
Of course, it is possible that some, all, none, or an interaction between these factors contribute to the slight advantage of online dating over traditional dating. What do you think? Are there any other factors that we should consider? Catalina Toma, why is it online dating, Ph. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Catalina Toma Ph. Virtual You. Why Is Online Dating Successful? Looking for love in all the right places? Part 2 Posted June 17, Share. About the Author. Online: My university webpageFacebookTwitter. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Get Help Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy Members Login Sign Up United States Austin, TX Brooklyn, NY Chicago, IL Denver, CO Houston, TX Los Angeles, CA New York, NY Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA Washington, DC.
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The Truth About Online Dating
, time: 12:27Why Is Online Dating So Hard? Real Talk and Real Answers
AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now!Dating Sites Comparison · Special Offers · Meet The Best Canadians · Date in Your AreaService catalog: Dating Wizard, Personalising Your Result, Safe & Secure Profiles · Dating websites have helped increase the pool of potential mates as there is more opportunity to meet people. The fact that you are aware that the people you are meeting on · Online dating requires effort, knowledge, good judgment, time and good mental health to have a good chance at success. People too much pressure on first dates to be their
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